Ladies! Men Know What They Want If You’re Not It You’re Not!
Stop begging a man to love you.
One lie which has been told over and over again, which is now beginning to sound like the truth, is the lie that; ” Men do not know what they want when it comes to the choice of whom to marry”.
It’s often said, “ To win a man’s heart just give him good sex and food then you will have his heart because men do not really know what they want.”
This has been said over and over again and passed down to women from generation to generation by people who are of the opinion that; the sum value of ‘Man’ who is made in God’s image and likeness is Sex and Food.
He is not capable of making a sound decision on whom to marry, so long as sex and food are on the offer.
He does not have a mind of his own.
No! that’s not true.
I call this a lie because contrary to this saying, research, and studies, as well as Scriptural examples, shows that men do really know what they want in a woman, who they love, and would go to any length, or height, to have this person whom they want even if it means sacrificing their time, sweat and blood to make it a reality.
When a man loves, he loves deeply like a child loves his mother. The bond is so deep that it can’t be explained.
Men have emotions and feel love deep in their hearts, contrary to what society wants women to think and believe.
The Scriptural example I will like us to discuss is that of; Jacob, Rachel, and Leah, as seen in our text above.
Jacob a man who was on the run for his life, from his twin brother Esau for the grudge he held against him because of the blessings his father had given him, which he got by deceit, was told by his father Isaac, and mother Rebekah to flee at once to his maternal home, to the house of his uncle Laban in Harran.
Upon his arrival, in Harran, he saw some shepherds by the well waiting to water their flocks of sheep.
Jacob asked the shepherds,
“ Do you know Laban, Nahor’s grandson ?’’
“Yes, we know him they answered.
Then Jacob asked them, “Is he well?”
“Yes, he is, “ they said, and here comes his daughter Rachel with the sheep. ’’
“ Look, he said, “ the sun is still high; it is not time for the flocks to be gathered. Water the sheep and take them back to pasture.”
“We can’t they replied, “ until all the flocks are gathered and the stone has been rolled away from the mouth of the well. Then we will water the sheep.
While he was still talking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherd.
When Jacob saw Rachel daughter of his uncle Laban, and Laban’s sheep, he went over and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered his uncle’s sheep.
Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud. He told Rachel that he was a relative of her father and a son of Rebekah. So she ran and told her father.
As soon as Laban heard the news about Jacob, his sister’s son, he hurried to meet him. He embraced and kissed him and brought him home.
After Jacob had stayed with him and his household for a whole month, Laban said to him, “ Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for free? Tell me what your wages should be.”
Laban had two daughters; the name of the Older was Leah and the name of the younger was Rachel.
Leah’s eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance.
Jacob was in love with Rachel and he said ;
“I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel .”
So Jacob served Laban for seven years to get Rachel as his wife, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.
After seven years of dedicated and diligent service, Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.
So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast.
But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her.
When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, what is this you have done to me?
I served you for Rachel, didn’t I?
Why have you deceived me?
Laban replied it is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriages before the older one. Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.
Jacob did so. He finished his week bridal week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife.
Leah and Rachel got married to Jacob 7 days apart.
But Jacob worked for Laban for another seven years as payment for the hand of Rachel in marriage
Jacob made love to Rachel also, and his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah.
Ladies! When a man loves you, he will make it obvious through his unwavering sacrifices and desire to fight for you at all costs.
Laban deceived Jacob, using the tool of customs and traditions to give him Leah in the place of Rachel as a wife for his own selfish gain because he thought; that no man will marry her because of her bad eyesight and would not want to have an old maiden in his house.
I’m sure his plan was to marry Leah to Jacob through deceit, while Rachel will marry another.
I don’t think he set out to give two sisters in marriage to the same man.
I mean why would a man sacrifice and serve seven years to get a wife, and go for another seven years again?
It’s not possible.
He will just give up already when it’s not like “She’s carrying gold on her waist like they would say in the world today’’.
I’m sure that Laban like most women do today, thought that by the time Jacob makes love to Leah, he would have no choice but to accept Leah and forget Rachel.
But Laban was wrong.
What he did not count on, was the depth of Jacobs’s love for Rachel.
Jacob dutifully finished the bridal week of Leah, but he did not bait an eyelid to move on to the one whom he loves Rachel and work for her to be his own.
He worked for Laban for another seven years.
In order words, Jacob served fourteen years for the one he loved Rachel.
He sacrificed his time, energy, sweat, and blood, to have the one he loved.
Ladies ! sex and making love are not enough to keep a man whose heart and love are not for you.
Ask Leah.
I repeat sex does not keep a man.
Leah, I’m sure knew what was at stake, the night her father smuggled her into Jacob’s bed.
She knew that the man whom she was in bed with that night was not there because of her. She was occupying a position that was not hers.
I’m sure she gave the love making her best shot in the world, so that just maybe when the sunrise, he will look at her differently.
But that was not the case.
Jacob made love to her but felt nothing for her.
Just take a minute to imagine the disdain, hatred, and irritation, Jacob must have felt towards Leah when he woke up in the morning and turned to behold the face of the one whom he loved and worked for, only to see Leah.
The pain of betrayal in his heart.
He stormed off leaving her heartbroken to go meet his father in law that; the woman on my bed is not the one I worked for.
Imagine Leah having to stand up from that bed to dress up, the shame, and pain in her heart as she heard the man who just left her bed bargaining with her father for her younger sister’s hand in marriage.
That’s not the position for any woman to find herself.
I have been opportune to meet with and hear stories of ladies whose men after making love or having sex all night, still stood up from that same bed to go get married legally with all marital rites paid for and fulfilled to another woman the same day.
These women were left broken and shattered, wondering why?
They gave it their all, why would these men hurt and betray them this way?
Truth is the man’s heart was never theirs to start with, as painful as It sounds, some of these women knew this truth, but choose to turn a blind eye because they thought; if I make love to him good enough, with all the styles and feed him good food, with time he will be mine.
Tasty meals and sex of all styles will never keep a man whose heart is not yours.
Because Rachel had the heart of Jacob, his love for her grew greater when he made love to her than his love for Leah.
Getting pregnant will not keep a man either.
Ladies! Men Know What They Want If You’re Not It You’re Not!
He might marry you out of obligation to his child for the gentlemen amongst them who would not deny you or walk away from you and the pregnancy, but you will only have the body but not his spirit and heart.
The day he sets his eyes on who his heart wants, he will drop you like an egg on the floor and your whole world will come crashing.
Ladies If a man’s heart is not for you, don’t force.
Don’t be desperate to have a man, that you fail to see what’s right there before you.
The LORD God saw that Leah was not loved, He enabled her to conceive but closed the womb of Rachel.
Rachel remained childless. But it did not make Jacob love Leah though she births him, sons.
How do I know this? Because of the names she gave her three sons.
Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”
She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son said, “ Because the LORD heard that I’m not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon
Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “ Now, at last, my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.
By the time she gave birth to her fourth son, she realized there was no need to stress it, Jacob would never love her like he loves Rachel so this time she praised the LORD with the name she gave her fourth son.
She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said,
“ This time I will praise the LORD.” So she named him Judah.
Ladies never put yourself in the position where you have to beg and long for a man’s affection. It’s not a good place to be.
Your heart will be broken, your spirit will be broken, and you will never be happy.
Don’t force it. Please don’t.
It’s either a man loves you, or he does not.
When a man loves you, he makes sacrifices for you.
When a man loves you he provides for you, without you asking or demanding.
When a man loves you, he will protect you.
When a man loves you, he would not leave you guessing. You will feel it, you will see it.
When a man loves you he serves you and helps to make your career, vision, or purpose easy and a reality.
From the very first time, Rachel the shepherd met Jacob, he served her without her even asking. Though it was not yet time to roll away the stone from the well until all the flocks are gathered, when Jacob saw Rachel daughter of his uncle Laban and Laban’s sheep, he went and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and water his uncle’s sheep.
Rachel didn’t ask him to. In the same way, she did not ask him or beg him to serve for her hand in marriage like most ladies do today, begging a man to propose to them.
Some of the ladies go as far as buying the engagement ring, wearing it, and saying the man did in a bid to get the man to propose.
These men sensing their desperation, take advantage of them, in the end, leave them scarred, high and dry.
Ladies, one of the unique qualities of a man who loves you is his ease of doing things for you, without you asking. The need to do things for you just flows from inside of him.
Though legally married to Jacob, Leah did not have access to the body of her husband, to make love to her how and when she desires. She had to hire him to sleep with her by giving her sister Rachel the mandrakes her son brought back from the bush which she was craving for so she gave him the go-ahead.
Thus if Rachel did not give Jacob go ahead, no lovemaking for Leah.
Rachel had just two sons for Jacob; Joseph and Benjamin.
The love of Jacob for Rachel, he passed on to her children.
Jacob (Israel ) loved Joseph ( Rachel’s first child for him) more than any of his other sons and he made a beautiful robe for him.
Rachel’s two sons until the day he took his last breath on earth, were his favourite children. He didn’t even hide it.
He blessed Joseph’s sons Manasseh and Ephraim, adopted and claimed them to be his own children and not grandchildren see ( Genesis 48:5-6). He was not this specific with his other grandchildren born to him by his other sons.
Leah had 6 sons and 1 daughter for Jacob but she died longing for the love and affection of Jacob her husband.
Let no one deceive you;
Ladies! Men Know What They Want If You’re Not It You’re Not!
God Bless You
Kingdom Keys To Marrying Right Part 1
