Kingdom Keys To Marrying Right Part 2 is a continuation of ;
Kingdom Keys, To Marrying Right Part 1
“I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven;…”
3. Watch To See If The Person You Have Met Is Indeed The Answer To Your Prayer :
In the Scripture, it is written, “ Watch and Pray that you may not enter into temptation.” Matthew 26:41
To watch is to pay attention. Carefully observant or attentive.
Praying and watching are two sides of a coin so they walk hand in hand.
I read somewhere, “ Watching without praying is like getting a diagnosis without a prescription. Praying without watching is like being in a pharmacy without knowing what’s wrong with you. The medicine is available, but you don’t know what to ask for.”
I totally agree with this.
Most times, more emphasis is laid on praying, and less emphasis on watching, when making a choice on whom to marry. But according to the Scripture, we are to do both at the same time. If you pray alone without carefully paying attention or being observant. You will not know when your prayers have been answered, or if it was not answered.
Beloved I cannot emphasize enough, the need and importance for every man and woman to watch and pray when seeking the face of God in the choice of a life partner.
The head servant of Abraham whom he entrusted with the responsibility of finding a wife for Isaac, in Genesis 25:1-67 our text while discussing Key No 2 ‘Prayer’, after he prayed and the LORD God answered his prayer with the arrival of Rebekah who acted exactly according to his request to the LORD, in verse 21 of the same Chapter without saying a word, closely watched her to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful.
He did not just conclude that since Rebekah acted the way he asked of the LORD, then she must be the right one for his master’s son; Isaac.
He watched her closely.
When trusting the LORD for whom to marry, praying only, is not enough, you have to watch while you pray.
Watch out for the red flags which are always there, except you choose to turn a blind eye to them.
Dear single ladies, learn to recognize red flags and move out of such toxicities. The Psychological trauma and pain of being in an abusive marriage for you and your children are ones that can take lifelong therapy to heal from.
Be intentional about your choice.
Many of these abusive men show various red flags which were ignored.
Proverbs 22: 24 says; “ Do not befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people .”
Single ladies, dating, courting or being engaged to be married, one of the things to watch out for when choosing a mate is His Temper.
Do not date, court or marry him if he has temper issues.
Hot- temper and anger have made some men beat their wives to the point of disfiguring them and in some cases to death.
Signs Of an Abusive Man:
- He has temper issues.
- He hits you at the slightest disagreement and blames you for making him hit you and to make up for it he buys you gifts.
- He sees nothing wrong in cheating on you with other women. If he cheats on you while dating, courting and engaged he will do worse when you marry him
- He embarrasses you in public, talking you down and shouting at you.
- He makes you feel incompetent, always comparing you with other women and making fun of your body size.
- He believes women should be seen but not heard.
- Women should not talk when a man is talking.
- He cannot take directives from a female boss.
- Women should not occupy sensitive positions.
- Silent treatment. He is not open to communication and dialogue to resolve conflicts between both of you.
- He is always threatening to cause you a body injury if you leave him.
- Gas lighting and isolating you from family and friends.
Ladies when you see these signs and more that the Holy Spirit will open your eyes to see when he comes seeking your hand in marriage, do not wait to consider. Run!
The red flags you refuse to acknowledge and address today will either mar you, cause you pain, destroy or kill you tomorrow.
Run when you still can.
Likewise, single brothers, dating, courting or engaged to be married, watch out for Her Temper. If she has temper issues, please disengage and disembark immediately.
Many men have died at the hands of abusive and hot-tempered wives they married. While some are presently in abusive marriages suffering because they do not have the courage to speak out that their wives are abusing them physically because of the shame of how society will see and laugh at them that their wives are beating them.
At the slight misunderstanding, these women tear their shirts and grope their manhood. While some survived with injuries, some were not so lucky they died from it.
Some may not be physically abusive, but they are verbally abusive.
They can nag for hours, throwing tantrums, and beating up your children just to get your attention. That is not the kind of woman you want to be the womb that births your seeds.
You will die before your time that is if out of anger you don’t beat her to death for always nagging. After a long day at work, no warm welcome, no warmth in the house only quarrelling and quarrelling all the time.
The Scripture says, “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.” Proverbs 21:19
Signs Of a Quarrelsome Wife:
- She nags.
- She grumbles.
- She challenges her husband’s authority.
- She makes him feel incompetent by her always comparing him with other men.
- She is never content with what she has.
- Always throwing tantrums.
- She doesn’t waste time hitting or biting or destroying valuables and properties when she’s upset. And she blames you for making her act the way she did.
Please run and don’t look back.
Don’t be praying with your eyes closed that you fail to see these signs. No matter how the individual tries to hide it, they must surely slip and most importantly if the LORD God is the one leading you, He has His own way of revealing deep and hidden things as long as you are ready to be patiently led by Him.
Irrespective of your age, don’t be desperate that you go ahead of Him. Because when things go wrong, you will definitely come back to Him. So? Why the rush?
God will never lead any of His Children into harm and danger.
Once you see the signs, don’t bother praying some more. End the relationship immediately and continue to trust God for His leading.
Don’t say you will change him or her because you cannot.
Marriage is a lifetime journey, choose your partner Wisely.
4. Choose Amongst Your Relatives (Same Believers OF Faith):
There were beautiful and intelligent women in the land of Canaan where Abraham resided, he did business with them and dwelt amongst them but when it was time to get his son Isaac a wife, he instructed his oldest servant to go to his relatives and get his son a wife.
Marriage is a covenant relationship, and whoever you enter into this covenant with has spiritual significance in your growth and progress in life both spiritually and physically.
It also determines if you will grow hot or cold in your relationship with God.
As a Christian and believer of Jesus Christ, the LORD God just as Abraham was in His own days, is very intentional about whom we marry.
- Marriage is a covenant between a man, a woman and God.
- God desires and seeks a godly offspring from your union.
In Deuteronomy 7: 2-4, The LORD God warned and instructed the children of Israel,
“ When the LORD your God hands these nations over to you
and you conquer them, you must completely destroy them.
Make no treaties with them and show them no mercy.
You MUST NOT INTERMARRY with them.
Do not let your daughters or sons marry their sons and daughters,
for they will LEAD YOUR CHILDREN AWAY FROM ME TO WORSHIP OTHER gods.
Then the anger of the LORD will burn against you and he will quickly destroy you.
Beloved who you marry is as important to the LORD God as Where You Marry From.
The person whom you marry plays a pivotal role in your relationship with the LORD God.
The Marriage of King Solomon is a perfect example of what God was saying when He warned the Israelites not to Intermarry with these other nations.
King Solomon, however, loved many women besides Pharaoh’s daughter – Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.”. Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God…” 1Kings 11:1-4
The wives that King Solomon married, led him away from God’s presence and destroyed his relationship with the LORD his God.
God is specific and particular about where his children marry.
In the days of Abraham, his relatives were those of his father’s household and clan.
But for us today, our relatives are fellow believers in faith, who have accepted Jesus Christ as their personal LORD and Savior, by identifying with His death and resurrection and what it symbolizes for us as Christians through water Baptism.
He or she must be filled with the Holy Spirit and actively being led by Him, bearing His fruits, not just manifesting His Gift. Because a person can have a gift but not the giver of the gift.
This is why it is written in the Scripture, “ By their fruits, you shall know them .” Matthew 17: 16
It’s not written by their gifts you shall know them.
Irrespective of the gifts they manifest in the church, it’s not everyone in the church you can marry.
It is said, “ The church is a hospital. It has different patients. Armed robbers, prostitutes, demons appearing as light, and all sorts of people you can think of, come to the church. Some are healed, while some are still undergoing treatment.
It’s the Doctor the “Holy Spirit” who knows the cured patient and those still undergoing treatment and even those whose illnesses have defiled all medical prescriptions. Those are the sons of perdition, they know where they are heading, but they don’t want to go alone so they hide in the church, neither going into heaven themselves nor will they let others enter.
This is why you must prayerfully watch their character, and how they behave outside the church. That’s who they really are.
Light and darkness have no relationship.
It’s written, “Do not team up with those who are unbelievers.
How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness?
How can light live with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
You cannot claim to be a child and son of God Whom He births through Jesus Christ and yet bring home an unbeliever as a spouse to be, who does not believe in the person of Jesus Christ and His finished work upon the cross as a husband or wife.
There is no relationship there. It’s either he or she pulls you down to what they believe in or you do so. But most often it’s the other side turning away the heart of a believer from God.
Beloved, if you don’t marry a believer of Jesus Christ, how will he love you as Christ loves the church? and how will you submit to his leadership since he has no head to submit to being Christ?
The LORD’s order is simple and straightforward, Man( husband) submits to Christ as his head, the woman (wife) submits to the man as the church to Christ, and they both submit one to another in reverence to God just as Christ submits to God as His head.
It’s a whole spiritual leadership tightly fitted.
Marrying your relative means having the LORD God as the head and authority in your home “…. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4: 9-11
The LORD God is the head and in charge in your home, which means that the bond you share with your spouse can not be quickly broken.
Marrying your relative in faith helps you to conceive godly seeds which will bring glory to the LORD God.
Marrying your relative brings you comfort and soothes your aching heart from past pains and hurt. Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death when he married Rebekah his relative. She soothes his pain. Genesis 24:67
Marrying your relative means marrying a man who will stand as a priest in your home and issue decrees in the name of Jesus Christ and it stands.
It means marrying a woman who understands by the leading of the Holy Spirit with clarity that she’s your helper.
The consequences of marrying a non-relative in faith and the danger it poses for your home and children are better imagined than experienced.
The downfall of King Solomon was the women he married who turned his heart against the LORD God.
Take heed lest you fall.
I pray that as we make use of these keys, we will marry right, and our home will be a safe haven for us and our children to thrive and grow spiritually, mentally and physically, giving glory to the LORD God in Jesus Christ’s name, Amen.
God Bless You.
