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Home Marriage and Relationship

5 Red Flags Christians Shouldn’t Ignore in Dating

Chinenye J. Nzewi by Chinenye J. Nzewi
May 20, 2025
in Marriage and Relationship
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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5 Red Flags Christians Shouldn’t Ignore in Dating.A person's actions and the way they live will reveal their true character and purpose, not just what they say and how they say it.

5 Red Flags Christians Shouldn’t Ignore in Dating

5 Red Flags Christians Shouldn’t Ignore in Dating

Dating as a Christian isn’t always easy in a World where people pretend and hide their real identity and intentions just to take advantage of the other.

People say one thing but mean another. They say, ” They want to get to know you and be with you, but all they want is just Sex, control and nothing more. ”

As a Christian Single, who is intentional about their walk with God and wants to get it right in Dating and Marriage, you want to love and be loved, open, kind, and full of grace, but you also don’t want to ignore warning signs that could lead to heartbreak, pain, and future Marital challenges.

Let’s t’s face it; just because someone goes to church, dresses in a certain way in which Christians are identified, speaks in tongues, and is active in the Church doesn’t mean they’re right for you.

Christians Ask,

Does God Support Abuse of Any Kind in Marriage?

If you’re dating or thinking about it, here are 5 red flags you should never ignore, no matter how good they look and sound on paper or their social media handles.

1. They Talk About God… But Don’t Walk with Him

They know the right Christian lingo. They can quote Bible verses. Maybe they even serve at church. But when you look closer, their lifestyle doesn’t match their words.

The Bible says, “You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act…” Matthew 7:16 (NLT)

A person’s actions and the way they live will reveal their true character and purpose, not just what they say and how they say it.

God isn’t just a part of our vocabulary. He should be part of our decisions, values, and daily lives.
Talk is cheap. Fruit is proof.

2. They Pressure You to Compromise Your Boundaries

Whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, someone who loves you will protect your boundaries, not push past them.

The Word of the LORD God is Crystal clear on Sexual Purity before Marriage.
” Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4 (NIV)

If the one you are dating does not respect your set boundaries when it comes to sexual purity and other Scriptural expectations of God for you as His Child, then that’s a big red flag to watch out for

If they say:

📍“We’re going to get married anyway.”

📍“Don’t be so uptight, God understands.”

📍“If you love me, you’ll do it.”

Run. Fast.
Lust dresses up like love, but it always takes. Love gives.

Lust takes You Away from God’s Love and Purpose,
Love helps you grow and live in Obedience to the LORD God.

3. They Make You Feel Spiritually Dry or Emotionally Drained

A relationship should push you closer to God, not pull you away. If you used to pray more, worship more, or feel more connected to God before the relationship, that’s a red flag.

Please pay attention to how you feel after spending time with them.
Are you more peaceful… or more anxious?

Any relationship that takes you away from fellowshiping with the LORD God and His Word, or keeps you questioning your Spiritual stands, is not a relationship to continue to be in.

Run Fast!

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4. They’re Not Accountable to Anyone

Everyone needs people in their life who can lovingly call them out or call them to order when they are straying from the right path.

If they say things like:

📍“I don’t trust pastors.”

📍“I don’t need spiritual covering.”

📍“I have my own relationship with God.”

…but they have no mentor, no church, and no godly community, that’s a problem. Isolation often hides rebellion.

Accountability is a sign of responsibility. If they do not have anyone who can caution them or instruct them, you have no business being in their Lives nor then in yours.

Wisdom is profitable to direct.

5. They Dismiss Your Calling or God-Given Purpose
If someone mocks your dreams, visions, God given Purpose, and minimises your gifts, or seems threatened by your Spiritual growth, Career growth or Financial growth, that’s not partnership. That’s control, insecurity, or immaturity.

It’s a sign 🛑 you should take seriously.

You don’t want to be in a relationship with such a person. They will batter your mental health, and in the end, you are left drained and messed up.

God won’t send someone who distracts you from your calling.
He’ll send someone who recognises it and helps you rise in it and accomplish it.

In Proverbs 3 5, It’s Written:
” Trust in and rely confidently on the LORD with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.” (AMP)

Trust the Holy Spirit, Not Just Your Heart and Emotions.

Your heart can be hopeful and still be wrong.

That’s why we don’t just date with emotion. We date with discernment. And the Holy Spirit is faithful to whisper when something’s off, even if you can’t explain it yet.

Dear Christian Singles,

If there’s a check in your spirit, don’t brush it off. Pray. Pause. Listen. God always warns before He protects.

Remember, a broken Dating Relationship is better than a broken Marriage or an Abusive Marriage that leaves you scarred for life.

Are you in a relationship right now?

Don’t second-guess what your spirit is trying to say.

I’m rooting for you to make the Right Decision Always.

God Bless You.

Share this post with someone who needs to check their relationship through God’s lens.

And for weekly faith-filled blogs about dating, purpose, and spiritual growth, subscribe now.

Let’s chat in the comments. Which of these red flags have you seen or experienced? Your story could help someone else.

Tags: Christian dating red flagsChristian relationship boundariesChristian relationship tipsdating as a Christian Mandating as a Christian womangodly dating advicesigns someone is wrong for you
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Chinenye J. Nzewi

Chinenye J. Nzewi

Welcome to my blog. I am a writer, counsellor, and relationship and marriage therapist. I help people lead healthy Christian relationships and love, sharing the finished work of Jesus Christ through His death and resurrection.

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