How to Forgive When They Are Not Even Sorry
Let’s be honest—forgiveness is hard.
But forgiving someone who isn’t even sorry? That feels impossible.
How do you forgive when the person who hurt you doesn’t apologize, doesn’t change, and doesn’t even acknowledge the pain they caused?
How do you forgive someone who doesn’t think they have wronged you at all ?
If you’re struggling with this, you’re not weak. You’re human. And more importantly, you’re not alone.
Apostle Peter at a time in his life needed clarity too and asked about Forgiveness.
Peter asks how many times he should forgive a brother who sins against him?
In Matthew 18:22, Jesus states that we should forgive “seventy-seven times”, not just seven. ” (490 times)
Seventy-Seven Times:
The number is not meant to be taken literally, but rather to convey the idea that forgiveness should be ongoing and not restricted.
In order words,forgiveness should be limitless.
Forgiveness should be boundless and not tied to a specific number of offenses.
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Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Approval
Let’s get one thing straight; forgiveness is not saying what they did was okay. It’s not excusing abuse, betrayal, or cruelty. It’s not pretending you’re fine. Forgiveness means releasing your heart from the prison of bitterness, anger , resentment and pain which has held you bound even if they never say
“I’m sorry.”
Jesus forgave those who crucified Him while they were still mocking Him (Luke 23:34). He didn’t wait for an apology. He forgave them whilst He was hung on the because He was free.
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Why Should I Forgive Someone Who’s Not Sorry?
Here’s the truth:Un-forgiveness keeps you tied to the pain and chain of the hurt they have caused you. It’s like drinking poison and hoping the other person suffers. And while you’re holding on to anger, they’re living their life often unbothered about the pain they have caused you.
Forgiveness sets you free. Un-forgiveness keeps you in bondage and messes up with your feelings and mental health every time you remember how they hurt and treated you.
Forgiveness clears space in your heart for healing, peace, and joy again. And it honors God, who forgave you when you didn’t deserve it either.
In the Scripture it is written,
“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.Romans 5:8 (NLT)
If God forgave us , surely we should forgive others who has hurt us wether they take responsibility, apologize or not.
What Forgiveness Is and Isn’t
Forgiveness is:
📍A choice, not a feeling.
📍A process, not a one-time event
Between you and God, not you and them.
Forgiveness is not:
📍Trusting them again,
📍Reconciliation (unless it’s safe and mutual),
📍Letting them continue to hurt you .
📍You can forgive someone and still have healthy boundaries.
📍You can forgive someone and never speak to them again.
Why?
Because Forgiveness isn’t for them it’s for you.
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How Do I Forgive When I’m Still Angry?
1. Be honest with God. Tell Him how you feel. He can handle your pain, your rage, and your confusion.
2. Ask for strength. Forgiveness is supernatural. You may not have the strength, but God does. Ask Him for the strength to forgive and let go .
3. Release them again and again. Say it out loud if you need to: “I forgive them, not because they deserve it, but because I want to be free.”
4. Pray for them. It’s hard, I know. But even a simple, “Lord, deal with them how You see fit” is a step forward towards healing.
5. Let time and truth do their work. Healing takes time. God is not in a rush—but He is working.
Dear Christian,
You Can Be Free Even Without an Apology.
You might never get the closure you crave or seek. The person may never realize the damage they caused. But you don’t have to stay chained to that pain forever.
Forgiveness is your way out.
It’s the door to your peace, freedom, to wholeness.
It’s not easy. But with God’s help through the Holy Spirit, it’s possible.
So if you’re holding something heavy today, let it go. Not because they asked. But because your soul deserves to be light again.
I’m rooting for You Always.
Shalom
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Have you ever had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry?
Share your story in the comment I will love to pray with you.
